Columbia, SC — Former Alaska governor and 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin believes that annexing Mexico as an official self-governing, unincorporated territory of the United States will solve the country’s perennial illegal immigration problem.

Minneapolis – Saint Paul, MN — The health care debate in the United States has taken an unusual twist today after Minnesota congresswoman Michelle Bachmann announced she would support President Barack Obama’s reform initiative if liberal talk show host Rachel Maddow wears a frilly blouse.

New York, NY — Even though he is actually not a woman and has not won any state-level beauty pageants, U.S. President Barack Obama has been unanimously declared as the winner of the 2010 Miss USA beauty pageant.

Ottawa, ON — Canada’s Governor General Michaëlle Jean’s adventurous taste buds have landed her in hot water yet again after she participated in an ancient Hasidic circumcision ritual which culminated in her eating the freshly cropped foreskin of a newborn Jewish male infant.

Washington, DC — US President Barack Obama today ordered the creation of a special White House office that would plan, execute and manage photo ops digitally using popular image editing software Adobe Photoshop.