Gros Cap, MI — A 13-year-old boy survived a potentially emotionally scarring cougar attack thanks to a three-week-old kitten that proved to be too cute to resist.

Lubbock, TX — A man who has just had a perm was held up at gunpoint but mysteriously let go by a mugger in an incident that has baffled police.

North Las Vegas, NV — A homeless man in the Clark County area has been rendered pantless after Hollywood superstar Tom Cruise successfully sued him for slander and defamation of character.

Toronto, ON — Antwan White is a handsome and athletic 23-year-old law student who loves the ladies and likes to go clubbing. He also likes to hang out at gay bars. And no, he is not a part-time male prostitute.

Wacahoota, FL — An area man listening to a Taylor Dayne song on his iPod while walking through a busy mall has been arrested by police for disrupting business and causing a spike in hypertension in elderly mallgoers.