entertainment

Janet Jackson to expose left boob at exclusive album launch

By Newton Zass ⋅ December 31, 2007 ⋅  Email this article ⋅  Print this article ⋅ Post a comment

Jackson: Bow down to my boob

Pop superstar Janet Jackson is said to be planning an exclusive party where she intends to expose her left breast to celebrate the upcoming release of her new album, Discipline.

The album, scheduled to hit record stores on February 26, 2008, is the follow-up to Jackson’s 2006 critical and commercial disappointment, 20 Y.O.

Sources close to Jackson said the “Nasty” singer is determined to reverse the career downturn she has been struggling with since her controversial 2004 Super Bowl halftime show performance during which her right breast was exposed. The ensuing nationwide outrage resulted in a record $550,000 fine levied by the Federal Communications Commission to CBS, the television network that aired the show.

Jackson’s personal friend and choreographer, Gil Duldulao, reportedly convinced the singer to seek out the counsel of Chinese feng shui expert Tsing-hua Chang, who specializes in career rehabilitation and upkeep.

Chang would not confirm or deny the report, but said that Ms. Jackson is in a “very precarious position” at this stage in her career, and that the only thing that could save it from certain death is the restoration of her astrological balance.

“When she exposed her right boob at SuperBowl 38, she set a negative wheel in motion. That wheel needs to be countered, and exposing the other boob would be just the right ticket,” Chang explained.

As of press time, Jackson could not be reached for comment on how she plans to reveal her left breast. However, fan speculation on the Internet points strongly to a “groundbreaking” duet with Alicia Keys during which Jackson will “accidentally” get her Dolce & Gabbana gown tangled with the “If I Ain’t Got You” singer’s weave, which will then trigger the costume reveal.

“I’m really excited about it,” said Endicott Monrose, president of the Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation Portland Chapter. “I just hope I could score tickets to the shindig. I wouldn’t miss it for my dad’s sex-change operation.”