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10 things you could do with that unwanted Clay Aiken CD you got for Christmas

By Dexter Brown ⋅ January 14, 2004 ⋅  Email this article ⋅  Print this article ⋅ Post a comment

So, the dusts of Christmas have finally settled. You’ve returned/exchanged all the unwanted presents you possibly can except for one last thing: a Clay Aiken CD. You can’t return it to the store because it didn’t come with a receipt. And you wouldn’t be caught dead re-gifting it. So what do you do?

If, like me, you’re in this unfortunate situation, here are some possible uses for the American Idol Season 2 runner-up’s dreadful disk.

	1. Drink coaster A popular use for many an unwanted but not quite trashable CD. Makes a great coffee table conversation piece.
	2. Lube coaster Keep your sex life well-lubricated and your birch nightstand protected from unsightly Astroglide blotches.
	3. Cheese cutter/slicer Works with most cheese varieties.
	4. Pizza cutter For that perfect pizza slice!
	5. Toothbrush holder Simply slap it onto any ordinary glass or tumbler and you’ve got a functional docking place for your toothbrush.
	6. Stylish ear ornament Facial specialists often recommend big earrings to balance out abnormally large olfactory organs.
	7. Stylish pendant Crank up your bling by wearing it as a pendant on your favourite imitation 50 Cent necklace.
	8. Gang weapon accessory Attach it to a dog chain and you’ve got a formidable gang weapon that would make your enemies think twice before crossing you.
	9. All-purpose wedge Fixes shaky tables and other wonky furniture.
	10. Dust pan For picking up the small messes of your life.

Of course, you can just throw the dang thing in the trash if you can’t be bothered with it. But, where is the fun in that?